


Titled Epilogue Fic - B Sides

by WorstGirlEva



Series: Untiled Epilogue Fic Series [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, The Homestuck Epilogues, Trans Character, Trans Fem June (redundant ), Trans Fem Kanaya, Trans Fem Vriska, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-02-19 00:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorstGirlEva/pseuds/WorstGirlEva
Summary: It's a lovely morning in Earth C for June Egbert, now haunted by her very own doppelganger, the true terrible goose of Earth C and convoluted Bloodborne reference: Aime Gdaala.The now TITLED EPILOGUE FIC in it's B Sides follow June Egbert ever so reluctant to accept her own problems and constantly pretending to have none as she has to deal with the one problem she will not deny: Aime and the series of problems she causes on purpose. Make your way across Earth C in denial of your problems as your shadow make out with your friends (it's ok everyone is poly), party hard, discuss the futility of life, call out your shitty ex boyfriend that has been ghosting you and ruin everyone's day.Featuring:○ A terrible Aime (that's me!)○ A canon with no major conflict and various iconic character from the hit series webcomic "homestuck" for me to mess with and for you to stop me!○ FINALLY A DEDICATED HONK BUTTON >:)
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jake English/Dirk Strider, June Egbert & Jade Harley, Past June Egbert/Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Series: Untiled Epilogue Fic Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598170
Comments: 68
Kudos: 47
Collections: June Egbert Jam





	1. First Steps - Amygdala Remix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June explains to her friends about her newfound doppelganger (me), mistakes are made.

\- The Beta Chads group chat. -

EB: and that’s what happened and that’s why my evil doppelganger is terrible and foul and has to be put down for good!!  
EB: thank you everyone for listening to my ted talk.  
TT: Hm.  
TT: She doesn’t sound particularly evil though.  
TT: She does sound slightly mischievous.  
TT: And perhaps a little emotional unstable.  
TT: You told me she made very clear that she is part of you right?  
TT: Excuse me.  
TT: _Part of you._  
TT: I wonder what that tells about you though.  
TT: But anyway.  
TT: What are some actual evil things did she did though?  
EB: what!  
EB: she’s terrible!  
EB: she told me all those mean things.  
EB: and this has nothing to do with me!  
EB: she’s crazy and she’s a liar. EB: she’s not part of me, she’s only a faker, a sham, a villain.  
EB: she’s not even good enough to be my faker.  
TT: Of course.  
TT: Unfortunately now a whole forest will be destroyed only so your Sonic reference can make sense.  
TT: Also you understand Shadow, the arguably fake one, was the one who said that line right?  
TT: It’s very important for me that you know what you are implying here, June.  
TT: And you keep mentioning all these things she told you.  
TT: But you refuse to transcribe.  
EB: it was personal ok?  
EB: and she also hm...  
EB: messed up my room?  
EB: broke my window?  
EB: also i didn’t actually played that game.  
EB: it’s nerd stuff.  
TT: Oh June you break my heart to say Sonic Adventure 2 (2001) is nerds stuff.  
TT: Dirty fake gamer girl.  
EB: what can i say? being a fake gamer girl is trans culture. :B  
TT: Absolutely.  
TT: Anyway you’re telling me she’s evil because she told you mean things, broke your window and messed up your room?  
EB: she also took over the narrative.  
TT: The narrative?  
EB: yeah.  
EB: the narrative

you’re lying.

you know i’m not “in control” of the narrative and you know my role is merely as to tell events in pretty light purple while at the same continuously roasting you.

i didn’t made jake have a mental breakdown, he did so because he was holding emotions for way too long. there is only one person that i’m in control of their actions and it’s myself.

TT: That sounds far fetched.  
EB: it’s true!

no, it isn’t. -_-

EB: can’t you see how much more purple the narrative is?  
EB: instead of the usual black.  
EB: it’s light purple all around!  
EB: unlike your good and cool purple.  
EB: aime has evil purple.  
TT: …  
TT: I’m flattered that you think my purple is better than hers.  
TT: But I don’t feel like i have enough dots for this sentence.

thank you rose.

turntechGodhead entered the group chat.  
TG: yeah june  
TG: you know the narrative isnt real  
TG: its some made up bullshit  
TG: made up just like santa  
TG: made up just like gender  
TG: made up just like ethical consumption under late capitalism  
TG: made up just like kamala harris  
EB: i’m pretty sure one of these exists.  
gardenGnostic entered the group chat.  
GG: yeah santa is real :B  
GG: also i’m sorry i missed her june :c  
GG: when i got home she was long gone and i couldnt help you  
GG: if i was there this evil doppelganger of yours would know whats good ù.ú  
GG: some good old harley strife and two  
TT: I still don’t think she is evil.  
EB: ugh, rose what do you have on defending amie now?  
EB: are you an amie stan?  
EB: an amie apologist?  
EB: she’s evil!  
EB: her name means amygdala for fuck’s sake.  
EB: have you ever met a good person named after the part of the brain that rules after fear?  
TG: oh you watched vriskas video?  
EB: yeah it was really good.  
EB: i never had saw em before, but she makes some really good game reviews.  
EB: that also weirdly fit very well into my personal life?  
EB: is this some method of foresight?  
EB: oracle of video game reviews?  
EB: haha i thought her wife was the seer though.  
TT: Anyway.  
TT: Would you call my dear other self, Jasprosesprite squared evil?  
EB: no?  
EB: she’s just like.  
EB: tricky and mischievous.  
EB: she’s really cool and fun.  
EB: unlike aime which is terrible and evil.  
TT: Well well well.  
TT: Well.  
TT: Well!  
EB: well?  
TT: Well?  
TT: Don’t you think it’s a little hypocritical to think my doppelganger, my very “mischievous” and totally not evil lesbian catgirl self running around, flirting with every girl she sees, telling everyone about feelings I have very repressed and would carry them to the grave if it was not for the fact that she is just out there, screaming to the world all of my pains and traumas and coping mechanism in the way of flirting?   
TT: And being sincere?  
TT: And talking about feelings?  
TT: What are even those?  
TT: Sounds pathetic to me.  
TT: Wouldn’t you agree Juniper Margaret Egbert?  
TT: I’d say you have a very similar similar case in your hands!  
TT: Hypocrite.  
TT: Clown.  
EB: …

wow.

you know it’s funny rose said all that.

i ship you with jasprose actually. :)

TT: Yes.  
TT: Dot dot dot is a very correct response.  
TT: Dot me until you run out of them and has to beg Vriska for her eight folded dots.  
TT: Lest I don’t know you all that well and your dot reserves run deeper than i know of?  
EB: …  
EB: what?  
TT: Yes, just like I thought.  
TT: Dot all you want for as far as I can see your doppelganger Aime Penélope Gdaala is no bigger villain than my own.  
TT: Which is called Jasprosesprite Annabeth Squared by the way.  
EB: i see you’re taking a liking in extending people’s names.  
TT: Yes, but you don’t get to laugh at it.  
TT: Goodbye.  
tentacleTherapist logged the absolute fuck out of this.  
TG: geez  
TG: that was rough  
EB: :/  
TG: its fine  
TG: i guess shes just frustrated how  
TG: well i guess we all treated jasprose like some joke  
TG: like not a joke  
TG: but more as this cool girl that has everything figured out and loves women  
TG: i guess we never saw how  
TG: rose and jasprose are different people  
TG: but they still share a lot  
TG: and i guess rose was just frustrated at seeing herself  
TG: but also so different  
TG: she told me she wasnt kidding about how she wanted to kill jasprose and how she was already coming up with the methods and the monologue  
TG: but she also told me eventually she realized she was just jealous  
TG: how is it fair that jasps get to run around and do all the things rose wish she could, but is too insecure to?  
TG: well she didn’t told me all that  
TG: but i kinda figured it out  
TG: i was the “prime dave”  
TG: and i know davesprite kinda felt the same  
TG: she’s gonna be fine  
TG: she might just be a bit furious  
GG: gosh  
GG: i don’t think i ever realized she felt like that?  
GG: and i guess i was also the “prime jade” to jadesprite  
GG: well until we eventually became one  
GG: so i know how she felt  
EB: …  
EB: i’m sorry.  
TG: you got nothing to apologize to me girl  
TG: just rose  
TG: and shes not even mad at you specifically  
TG: she just vented about something that has been making her mad for ages now and you just brought it to surface  
TG: you should dm her though  
GG: yeah  
GG: i agree with dave  
GG: you didnt do anything that wrong?  
GG: and yeah you should text her :c  
EB: i tried?  
EB: she’s not answering though?  
EB: weird.

…

TT: I did heard a lot about you.  
TT: Although the narrator was a reliable one, she was not very well versed in telling stories.  
TT: So tell me, miss Gdaala. What brings you to my humble direct messages?  
BE: rose, please drop the facade.  
BE: and don’t pretend you’re not angry.  
BE: i’m not here to antagonize you.  
BE: you might not know me, but i still know you very well.  
BE: i’m-  
BE: not feeling well either.  
BE: and i don’t want to pretend i am.  
BE: can i just visit you to talk properly  
TT: This is a surprise.  
TT: I must say I expected a different role in this narrative from you miss Gdaala.  
BE: please just call me aime.  
TT: Yes, I will.  
TT: Pardon me from expecting different from you.  
TT: The likes of you don’t come with simple desires like venting and seeking for comfort.  
BE: my likes?  
BE: you can just say original characters.  
TT: Of course.  
TT: Again when June told me she had a “evil doppelganger running wild” I didn’t expect you.  
TT: I must admit I love the origin of your name.  
TT: It’s a rather delicious word in the mouth.  
BE: haha.  
BE: thank you. :B  
BE: anyway see ya, i’m coming at you.  
TT: I will wait patiently.  
bloodborneEmissary tenderly logged out.


	2. Reflection - Recovery Remix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You visit the Maryam Lalonde residence to apologize, things get emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a rather emotional chapter where i explore some very personal things and dwell on topics of jealousy and fear of acting, so stay safe!

==> June: Apologize

you are once again in the maryam lalonde residence.

despite the circumstances of jake’s counterfeit kidnapping the last time you were here, you’re in an even worse mood now.

you don’t want to knock, nor you have jade by your side to interrupt your line of thought, so you linger on and on.

your mind wanders.

you never expected rose to feel like that towards jasprose, you thought it was a funny joke: jasprose flirts with girls, rose wants to kill her, everyone laughs and moves on from this role playing scenario.

you think about jasprose. she is technically the original rose you met, the pre retcon one while this rose is the post retcon one and post retcon june died before she could ever figure it out.

…

it’s a very sad thing to think about actually.

but you’re here now.

because we move on.

because we hurt our friends and we apologize and make up and move on.

at least i hope that’s what you’re thinking about.

==> June: Knock

the sound crawls inside the hollow halls of the castelvaniaesque mansion rose and kanaya live in.

KANAYA: Oh Hello June  
JUNE: yeah…  
JUNE: rose told you what happened right?  
KANAYA: Yes  
KANAYA: I Can See Youre Feeling Guilty But I Assure She Is Not Mad At You  
KANAYA: Mostly Just Angry And Frustrated In A General Sense  
KANAYA: I Helped To Soothe Her Already  
JUNE: that’s nice.  
JUNE: and what about you?  
KANAYA: What About Me?  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: i just realized we barely ever chat.  
JUNE: don’t you think it’s weird?  
KANAYA: Maybe  
JUNE: like, we’re friends.  
JUNE: and the creators of this world.  
JUNE: also you’re one of the few people who i met as a kid who is still alive.  
JUNE: though i guess we never properly met?  
JUNE: i just remember swinging from talking to vriska about the game and rose talking about you while trying my very best to keep jade alive.  
JUNE: i guess you could say i had a lot of irons in the fire?  
KANAYA: Thats Quite A Loaded Phrase  
KANAYA: I Assume Youve Been Watching Vriskas Videos  
JUNE: yeah i have! :0  
JUNE: they’re really good actually??  
JUNE: and really fun too!  
JUNE: i’ve been a depressed mess for too long and i missed out on a bunch of cool new releases.  
JUNE: also i guess-  
JUNE: it’s cool to hear her voice.  
KANAYA: Her Voice?  
KANAYA: Is There Anything Special In Her Voice?  
JUNE: not _her_ voice in specific.  
JUNE: just in a general sense.  
JUNE: listening to voices like her.  
KANAYA: Cerulean Bloods?  
KANAYA: Those Assigned The Thief Class?  
KANAYA: Light Bounds?  
KANAYA: I Must Admit I Take Much Joy In Listening To My Wife Too  
JUNE: no!  
JUNE: i mean like.  
JUNE: other-  
JUNE: other trans girls?  
JUNE: it’s nice to hear others with voices like mine  
KANAYA: Haha  
KANAYA: I Know What You Meant Silly  
KANAYA: I Just Wanted To Hear You Say It  
KANAYA: I Enjoy Listening To Others Who Sound Like Me Too  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: it’s nice to hear your voice too.  
KANAYA: Thank You June  
KANAYA: Now Get In Already I Have A Episode Of Juvenile Sun Shifter To Finish  
JUNE: haha ok!

==> June: Enter

the inside still looks like the same lovely mess it did before. you can see their large tv paused on a program you never heard before, but feel a weird desire to know more about and a yarn ball on the couch. you assume rose has been teaching the arts to her wife.

the place is comfortable, you wonder why you never visit them unless there is someone having a breakdown. you remember dave and wonder what his house looks like. you wish you would visit your friends more.

AIME: sup june.  
JUNE: WHAT.  
JUNE: ARE YOU DOING HERE!! >:0

AIME: *shaking my head*  
AIME: can’t i visit my dear friend rose in her moment of need?  
JUNE: well i was gonna do that!  
JUNE: i came here to help her out!  
AIME: maybe i just came here first?  
AIME: i’m _part of you_ did you forget that?  
AIME: we kinda think the same  
JUNE: i absolutely do not think the same as you do.  
JUNE: for starters what are you even wearing!  
AIME: …  
AIME: a dress?  
AIME: and leggings?  
JUNE: well!  
JUNE: it looks bad.  
AIME: gee thanks!  
AIME: i was kinda tired of the same long skirts and hoodies over and over.  
AIME: and i know so were you.  
AIME: haven’t you been meaning to wear this dress for like?  
AIME: a few months now?  
JUNE: i’m wearing it once i’m transitioned enough!  
JUNE: i have my whole life in front of me, no haste to wear it.  
AIME: you gotta start living someday though.  
JUNE: shut up.  
JUNE: kanaya be our judge, jury and executor and tell aime the dress looks bad.  
AIME: yeah!  
AIME: pull the trigger piglet.  
KANAYA: Well  
KANAYA: It Doesnt Look Bad Per Se On You Aime  
KANAYA: It Looks Cute On You And This Dress Leggings Outfit Is Good  
KANAYA: Im Unsure Why You Two Craved To Wear This Dress For Months  
KANAYA: Its Not That It Looks Bad _On You_  
KANAYA: It Simply Looks Bad  
KANAYA: On Anyone  
JUNE: WHAT.  
AIME: WHAT.

==> June & Aime: Nerd Out About Dress

JUNE: that’s ridiculous.  
AIME: absurd.  
JUNE: baloney.  
AIME: bologna.  
JUNE: this dress rules?  
AIME: yeah, it’s just great!  
KANAYA: Is It Now?  
JUNE: of _course_ it is!  
JUNE: certified, official ghostbusters slimer dress all copyright reserved.  
JUNE: what else do you want?  
AIME: it’s comfortable, it’s green, and it’s dress!  
AIME: it’s a little too short for my liking, but the leggings look really cool with them.  
JUNE: they _do_!  
JUNE: literally if we can’t wear this then what’s the point?  
JUNE: this is like the apex of womanhood.  
AIME: wearing this dress is the reason i became trans.  
JUNE: YEAH.  
KANAYA: Oh My Gosh  
KANAYA: Hahaha You Two

kanaya can barely hold her laughter as we look at her confused.

what’s so funny about this?

she can barely hold herself up, holding her belly with one hand and her mouth with the other loudly laughing.

==> Kanaya: Lose It

AIME: what’s so funny about this?  
KANAYA: You Two-  
KANAYA: Did You Two Stop Hating Each Other Over This Ridiculous Dress-  
KANAYA: Oh Dear Sufferer Someone Grab Me A Bottle Of Water I Cant Stop Laughingt

i stand there as you go to the kitchen.

it’s hard to tell if she is actually serious on such monotone, but i assume the fact her voice is constantly cracking and she looks like to be pain from laughing so much shows this is genuine.

JUNE: here!  
JUNE: please sit down, queen.  
KANAYA: Thank You-  
KANAYA: I Just-  
KANAYA: Oh Gog  
KANAYA: I Didnt Expect You Two To Agree On This Dreadful Dress Being Pretty  
KANAYA: You Two Seemed To Hate Each Other So Much  
KANAYA: But There You Are Like Two Just Hatched Chicks Nerding Out About A Dress  
KANAYA: Oh Dear You Two Are Adorable

we’re not-

what!

JUNE: what!  
AIME: this is beyond ridiculous.  
JUNE: abysmally absurd.  
AIME: italian baloney.  
JUNE: ok enough about this.  
AIME: yeah.  
AIME: anyway.  
AIME: i’m not affiliated with her.  
JUNE: i thought you were very clear about being _part of me_?  
AIME: not anymore.  
AIME: i want a divorce if we’re gonna embarrass ourselves like that.  
JUNE: you want to divorce the self?  
AIME: yeah.  
AIME: i’m taking half your personality.  
JUNE: oh we’re gonna see _that_.  
JUNE: see you in court, bitch.  
AIME: same to you.  
JUNE: …  
AIME: …  
AIME: DIBS ON-  
JUNE: DIBS ON TEREZI AS MY LAWYER.  
AIME: no, heck off!  
AIME: i want terezi.  
AIME: you can have any other lawyer on earth c.  
JUNE: but i don’t know any other lawyer in earth c!  
AIME: well maybe you should go out more!  
JUNE: to what!?  
JUNE: lawcon?  
JUNE: the hypothetical law convention i just came up with??  
JUNE: to meet fellow lawyers and be friends with them?  
AIME: yeah! why not?  
JUNE: cause i don’t care about the legal system!  
AIME: oh so you do-  
ROSE: Girls, please.

==> Rose: Descend

rose comes down from her spiral staircase once again, i swear she has a thing for doing that as dramatically as possible.

this time her laziness comes from being tired and just having woken up from her nap, hair unkempt and by the bagginess of that shirt you assume it’s from her wife.

ROSE: I just desired a nap.  
ROSE: Can’t a girl feel frustrated once without her dear friends going crazy over the idea of giving her emotional support?  
ROSE: And by that I say thank you.  
ROSE: You two are very kind.  
JUNE: oh, hi rose!  
AIME: i’m glad you’re awake  
ROSE: You’re sweet Amygdala.  
AIME: ugh, roooooooose.  
AIME: i told you to cut that out already.  
ROSE: What a shame.  
ROSE: Why would you choose such a simple name over one as mesmerizing as that?  
AIME: maybe i want to be simple?  
AIME: i don’t want complicated mouthful names.  
AIME: i also wanted one similar to the other humans.  
KANAYA: How So?  
AIME: you know.  
AIME: 4 letters first name and a 6 or 7 letters surname?  
KANAYA: Now That You Say That  
KANAYA: How Come All Eight Of You Share Such Pattern?  
JUNE: hm.  
ROSE: It’s a large coincidence?  
JUNE: yeah.  
AIME: and i wanted to share it too.  
ROSE: I guess the desire to fit in is merely natural.  
ROSE: I will abstain from calling you that from now on.  
ROSE: Can I call you Glaada though?  
AIME: *shrug*  
AIME: i guess? if you have a thing for the formality of calling others by their surname i guess that’s valid.  
ROSE: Oh thank Gxd I’m valid.  
ROSE: I was so worried.  
AIME: Heh, cut that out!  
ROSE: You’re sweet, Gdaala.

rose says that as she pinches my cheek.

gosh she’s adora-

JUNE: hmmmmm.  
JUNE: you two stop that!  
JUNE: aime you can’t do that in front of this woman’s wife.  
KANAYA: Im Fine With It Actually  
JUNE: shut up you’re not.  
AIME: what?  
JUNE: you can’t just do that!  
JUNE: you can’t show up here and flirt with rose like that.  
JUNE: it’s???  
JUNE: wrong!  
ROSE: why?  
JUNE: because it’s wrong!  
JUNE: rose is supposed to date kanaya and only kanaya!  
AIME: we’re not dating?  
JUNE: well the thing you’re doing!  
AIME: flirting!  
JUNE: EXACTLY!  
JUNE: or rather!  
JUNE: stop doing that!  
ROSE: June, we are polyamorous.  
JUNE: that word is stupid! don’t say it or any synonym of it.  
AIME: june didn’t you read the description of the fic?  
JUNE: STOP BEING META!  
AIME: june we’re just-  
JUNE: DON’T!  
JUNE: JUST-  
JUNE: ...  
JUNE: what-  
JUNE: what have you two even been up to before i got here.  
AIME: well i was just gonna get to that.  
AIME: rose-  
AIME: really wanted to taste what a doppelganger’s lips taste like.  
AIME: which to her disappointment taste exactly like any other person.  
JUNE: …  
AIME: and then she went on about _you_.  
AIME: which is kinda about _me_ too.  
AIME: because, you know, i’m _part of you_.  
JUNE: me???  
AIME: yeah, and me by extension since i used to be you a few hours ago.  
AIME: but!  
AIME: did you know she used to have a lowkey crush on you?  
AIME: she was somewhat confused prior your coming out.  
AIME: she told about how she let out the longest sigh of relieve ever after she learned you were a girl.  
AIME: and hm.  
AIME: june?  
AIME: june you don’t look ok?

you don’t look ok at all.

wide eyed you take steps back and hold yourself.

june, you don’t well at all please talk to me.

KANAYA: June Look Unwell  
KANAYA: Do You Want To Talk About It?  
KANAYA: Do You Need Something?  
KANAYA: June You Look In The Verge Of Tears-  
JUNE: I’M TIRED OF THIS OK!

you scream.

and the deafening silence that follows is even louder than your plea.

we wait for you to elaborate.

and in time you do.

==> June: Breakdown

JUNE: i’m-  
JUNE: i’m tired of feelings.  
JUNE: i’m tired of feeling weird all the time.  
JUNE: feeling jealous.  
JUNE: feeling scared.  
JUNE: having a constant craving to do things i tell myself i shouldn’t.  
JUNE: i was happy in my comfort zone you know!  
JUNE: i was happy and-  
JUNE: it was comfortable.  
JUNE: but then YOU showed up.  
JUNE: and then you DESTROYED my comfort zone.  
JUNE: like you flung it towards the wall broke it to pieces.  
JUNE: and said to my face “if you’re not going to actually live your life then i’m going to life for you!”  
JUNE: I KNOW.  
JUNE: i know i shouldn’t repress myself like that.  
JUNE: it’s scary ok!  
JUNE: it’s so scary and i’m scared all the time.  
JUNE: i’m scared to open up about my feelings because-  
JUNE: because i know everyone will support me!  
JUNE: i know everyone will drop everything to support me!  
JUNE: because you love me and because you care about me!  
JUNE: and i’m doing that right now!  
JUNE: but i hate it.  
JUNE: because every time i do it i feel like i’m a burden.  
JUNE: and i know you’re not gonna tell me i’m a burden.  
JUNE: you did it before and you will do it again.  
JUNE: and i always feel like a burden, like an annoyance.  
JUNE: you had a lowkey crush on me? YEAH i did too.  
JUNE: and i’m-  
JUNE: jealous!  
JUNE: of my own doppelganger.  
JUNE: of…  
JUNE: myself.  
JUNE: the one version of me who isn’t scared of everything all the time.  
JUNE: i hate this.  
JUNE: i hate these feelings, i hate feeling, i’m tired of stupid estrogen making me feel all the time and making me cry at everything.  
JUNE: i want it all gone!  
JUNE: i don’t want to feel anymore!  
JUNE: i don’t want to hurt anymore!  
JUNE: i’m so tired of this!  
JUNE: i just want to-  
JUNE: to  
JUNE: i just want to stop existing!

…

june i’m-

KANAYA: June Please  
KANAYA: First Breath  
KANAYA: Just Breath  
KANAYA: You Can Do This

kanaya dashes towards you to help, she holds your arms and grounds you as she makes an exaggerated breathing motion for you to follow.

me and rose exchange looks, unsure what to do, but she nods at me as to say “don’t worry, she got this”.

==> Kanaya: Meddle

KANAYA: I Know  
KANAYA: I Know Its Too Much  
KANAYA: I Know Your Think Pan Will Tell You How Much Of An Annoyance You Are  
KANAYA: And I Know You Heard This Before  
KANAYA: But We Care About And We Will Help You Every Single Time  
JUNE: but-  
JUNE: but eventually i’m gonna get boring!  
JUNE: eventually you will all grow tired of me and my emotional shenanigans will overgrow how funny and interesting i am and all the benefits of being my friend.  
JUNE: eventually it’s just not gonna be worth being my friend anymore.  
KANAYA: June  
KANAYA: I Need You To Imagine Rose  
KANAYA: She Is Distressed And She Needs Emotional Help  
KANAYA: Would You Tell Her That She Is Annoying?  
JUNE: of course not!  
JUNE: because i-  
KANAYA: Because You Care About Her And Will Help Her Every Single Time?  
JUNE: yeah.  
KANAYA: And Even If She Comes Again And Again Asking For Emotional Support  
KANAYA: Would You Ever Tell Her That Its Annoying?  
JUNE: …  
JUNE: no. never.

i look at rose and she smiles.

damn, kanaya is good at this.

KANAYA: I Wont Expect You To Never Doubt Yourself Again  
KANAYA: You Will Feel Better In Time  
KANAYA: And You Will Worse Again  
KANAYA: Thats Kinda How Estrogen Works  
KANAYA: The Highs Are Highers And The Lows Are Lowers  
KANAYA: And Jealousy Is  
KANAYA: Hard  
KANAYA: Sometimes You Can Only Learn By Suffering  
KANAYA: I Had A Crush On Someone Once Too  
KANAYA: I Have Been Told  
KANAYA: That If I Had Merely Told Her About It She Would Have Dated Me  
KANAYA: But I Just Never Told Her  
KANAYA: And I Terribly Regret That  
KANAYA: And Eventually You Get Tired Of Regretting  
KANAYA: And You Just Tell Yourself  
KANAYA: Fuck It  
KANAYA: And If Youre Going To Regret Something  
KANAYA: Then Youre Regretting The Things You Did  
KANAYA: Not The Things You Didnt  
JUNE: ....  
JUNE: yeah…  
KANAYA: And I Dont Expect You To Start Immediately  
KANAYA: It Takes Time  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: thanks kanaya.  
JUNE: you’re always so supportive of everyone.  
KANAYA: I Enjoy Helping Others  
KANAYA: Its Something I Take Joy In  
JUNE: you do.  
JUNE: but do you ever talk about your own feelings?  
JUNE: i feel like you’re always helping others, but never talks about your own feelings.  
KANAYA: I Will Keep All My Feelings Close To My Chest  
KANAYA: And Then I Will Die  
JUNE: haha.  
KANAYA: I Deal With Them On My Own Ways  
KANAYA: Usually With My Wife  
KANAYA: But I Tend To Bottle My Own Sometimes  
KANAYA: And I Promise  
KANAYA: The Day My Emotions Blow Up  
KANAYA: Its Over For You Bitches  
JUNE: hahaha  
JUNE: kanaya i know you enough to know you’re usually joking when you say things like these  
KANAYA: There Is Not A Single Jokified Atom In The Metaphorical Body Of My Joke  
JUNE: hm…  
JUNE: that’s a joke too right?  
KANAYA: Yes :)  
JUNE: nice. :)  
JUNE: you’re really good at this actually.  
JUNE: i’m feeling better now.  
JUNE: hm sorry for all that you two.  
ROSE: No need to apologize.  
AIME: yeah.  
KANAYA: Rose Is Not Exactly Good On Helping Others Emotionally  
KANAYA: And I Think Aime Is As Good As You  
KANAYA: Which Is Not Much  
AIME: yeah it isn’t.  
AIME: remember when jake was having that breakdown?  
AIME: i was screaming in your ear about helping him.  
AIME: but i had no idea how to help either.  
JUNE: >:/  
JUNE: thanks!?  
AIME: err yeah.  
AIME: i think both and you and rose are feeling better now.  
AIME: kanaya do you wanna vent too?  
KANAYA: Im Good  
AIME: cool.  
AIME: i just had a breakdown like a few hours ago, moments after my alleged birth.  
AIME: so i’m good for now.  
AIME: wanna fly home june?  
JUNE: i don’t think i’m good for flying.  
JUNE: still shaking a little.  
AIME: wanna take the tube instead?  
JUNE: and puke on the tube?  
JUNE: i don’t wanna do such a thing to public transportation.  
JUNE: can we take an uber instead?  
AIME: yeah we can.  
AIME: i don’t actually own a cellphone of myself as i was just born from june’s mind a few hours ago, can someone else order it?  
ROSE: But weren’t you just messaging me?  
AIME: true, retcon that, i’m ordering it.

quite funny how one forgets it’s canonical to the lore of earth c that giant tubes that glide their citizens on their insides is the most common method of public transportation.

it’s canonical in every timeline unless it was directly told not to be the case, if it simply wasn’t mentioned it’s because it’s not important to the overall narrative, but they’re there nonetheless.

==> June: Lay down on couch unceremoniously

AIME: are you ok?  
JUNE: just very tired.  
AIME: that’s fair.  
AIME: …  
AIME: i thought.  
AIME: i don’t know, i didn’t expect that you would accept your problems so quickly?  
AIME: i thought-  
AIME: things would be much more disastrous.

rose has already ordered the ride and she is next to kanaya watching juvenile sun shifter, which i assume is the troll equivalent to teen wolf.

you look up like you just released a metaphorical hundred pounds you’ve been carrying for years. like you you’re light and free, but you don’t actually know someone is supposed to do with this freedom.

JUNE: ...  
JUNE: i’m tired of hurting.  
JUNE: you’re right about everything.  
JUNE: maybe it’s anticlimactic to admit it so soon.  
JUNE: but i’m tired of hurting and i guess there is no other way to start recovery without ripping the bandaid out.  
AIME: yeah.  
AIME: that’s right?  
AIME: i didn’t thought you knew about that  
JUNE: aime.  
JUNE: you’re _part of me_.  
JUNE: everything you know.  
JUNE: i know.  
JUNE: and i know the things i did were bad.  
JUNE: maybe i just needed to externalize these feelings.  
JUNE: quite literally.  
AIME: yeah.  
JUNE: but you knew that.  
JUNE: because everything i know.  
JUNE: so do you.  
AIME: because i’m _part of you_.  
JUNE: yeah.  
AIME: so do you feel better now?  
JUNE: i still want to die.  
JUNE: maybe i feel better later.  
AIME: i hope so.  
AIME: do you want to…  
AIME: unite the self again?  
JUNE: nah.  
JUNE: i enjoy this.  
JUNE: can we keep like it for awhile more?  
JUNE: i like talking to you and i’d like us being different selves just for a little more.  
AIME: sure.  
AIME: if it makes it easier for you to deal with your feelings.  
JUNE: it does.  
AIME: you can rest, i will take you to the car once it arrives.  
JUNE: thank you aime.  
JUNE: goodnight.

good night june.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was also me exploring with formatting and art. this fic never had a proper plot and the next chapters will mostly be me experimenting with prose, formatting and art for my upcoming projects (tho of course i will keep the quality). and once again i'd like to thank my gf for helping me with the formatting!


	3. Dream Land - PEACH 9.9 Intensity No Continues REMIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> june enjoys some video games with her sister and her doppelganger

==> June: Wake

you shouldn’t make a habit of waking up hungover or otherwise just so tired you wish you had drunk some alcohol to make the sun just a little less loud.

but blackout curtains are for nerds, and you’re not a nerd.

JUNE: eh?  
JUNE: wha-

also jade heard me and she started running to check on you.

she has been worried sick about you.

and somewhat suspicious of me in the start.

though rose and kanaya explained to her what happened.

she was kinda excited to meet me.

she was very, very happy in having yet another sister.

JADE: june!  
JUNE: eh?  
JADE: im so glad youre awake!!  
JADE: i’ve been worried sick!  
JADE: aime told me you were fine and that you just needed some rest  
JADE: i couldn’t stop being worried!  
JADE: youve been…  
JADE: thru some stuff lately  
JADE: and with aime and all  
JADE: i was very worried what would happen to you  
JADE: i was-  
JADE: i honestly didnt expected you would accept this so easily  
JADE: i thought much more terrible things would happen before you actually accepted  
JADE: its almost weird how open you were about it!  
JADE: im glad kanaya helped you  
JUNE: …  
JUNE: what

oh gosh i’m sorry june dasdasdas.

jade i think you should give her some space.

JADE: ah!  
JADE: fuck, sorry.  
JADE: haha sorry i was so excited that you finally woke up i forgot how tired you were  
JUNE: ugh.  
JUNE: i just feel kinda sick.  
JUNE: not to overstep sisterly privileges can you bring me a glass of water?  
JUNE: maybe some chocolate?  
JADE: hm june dear?  
JADE: there’s some right by your bed stand?  
JUNE: eh?  
JUNE: did i actually remember to do that before going to bed?  
JUNE: wait no  
JUNE: there’s a letter from aime here.

JUNE: that was nice of her.  
JADE: yeah.

haha thank you.

anyway jade i think you should give june some moments to wake up.

JADE: ok!  
JADE: take your time june.  
JADE: but don’t take too much time!  
JADE: i wanna play smash with you two later.

jade lefts.

unceremoniously you drop down in bed again.

JUNE: why are you-  
JUNE: how did jade hear that?  
JUNE: you’re narrating things and she just heard it?

yeah?

JUNE: how.

she’s just very good.

JUNE: ???  
JUNE: how?

there isn’t anything to explain!

she’s just very good and gets to just do that.

it’s what she deserves.

JUNE: ughhhh.  
JUNE: ok.  
JUNE: stop narrating for hhhh  
JUNE: half an hour.  
JUNE: and i’m gonna be out

why?

JUNE: you know why!  
JUNE: just gives me some privacy.  
JUNE: i need to shave my face and it’s embarrassing to just come out looking like this.  
JUNE: so give me some time!  
JUNE: it’s rude to broadcast other’s personal life for clout.

ok, ok i get it!

you have 30 minutes.

AIME: anyway.  
AIME: how are you feeling jade?  
JADE: very good!  
JADE: i’ve been worried for june for awhile  
JADE: i couldn’t quite put it into words.  
JADE: but i kinda knew there was something wrong?  
JADE: like how she pretended to be ok all the time  
JADE: and every time i tried to talk about it she just avoided the question!  
JADE: i was getting tired of her talking about how she is going to therapy so she is ok now.  
JADE: she barely even goes there!  
JADE: she keeps conveniently forgetting her sessions.  
JADE: i was scared  
JADE: i’m glad she is facing her problems?  
AIME: same.  
AIME: i was-  
AIME: i was the voice in her head of her desires.  
AIME: i was the one telling her:  
AIME: “that girl is cute! you should talk to her.”  
AIME: “that dress looks nice! you should wear it.”  
AIME: “i don’t think you’re feeling that well. you should tell someone about it.”  
AIME: she never heard me.  
AIME: i had to take direct action you know?  
JADE: yeah!  
JADE: actually i dont know  
JADE: how did you even do it in the first place?  
JADE: how did you just separate from june’s self like that?  
AIME: oh well it was just-  
JUNE: aime you can narrate again i’m done.

you interrupt me as you open the door. dressed and clean for the day forward.

JUNE: i’m starving. can we eat something.  
JADE: sure!

i don’t think there is much to narrate here.

but it’s the little things that i like, the simple moments with your sister and doppelganger, eating delivery food from that place you’ve always meant to try out as human riverdale plays on the tv.

not to be confused with riverdale from earth, this is an original production from earth c where the writers try their very best to imitate riverdale from earth b (as the show never aired on earth a) on all 8 of it’s seasons with a very ambiguous ending where the kids (now no longer kids) play sburb. season 9, also known as act 2 would explore their adventure on the medium, but the show was cancelled by order of the condesce herself.

it’s appreciating one another and just enjoying the time we have together.

JADE: it’s playing smash with your two-folded sister!  
JUNE: ugh yeah i had completely forgot that.  
JUNE: what’s up with playing smash now?  
JUNE: like,  
JUNE: why smash?  
JUNE: why now?  
JADE: why any other game? in any other time?  
JUNE: ugh stop being a nihilist.  
JADE: hehe i just wanted to try it out!  
JADE: also i wanted to play the new character.  
AIME: ugh i can’t believe they added another fucking fire emblem.  
AIME: it’s like they’re being antagonistic on purpose.  
AIME: like, ok, i get it, byleth is cool.  
AIME: but after thirty fire emblem characters in a row you start getting bored.  
AIME: robo-lucina? die.  
JUNE: hey i like robo-lucina!  
JUNE: i think her story in fire emblem two (the game titled fire emblem two, not to be confused with fire emblem: gaiden) is very deep and i cried at seeing her pay the ultimate price for salvation of her people by leaving away all her emotions and ties to humanity by becoming mecha demiurge.  
AIME: yeah it’s cool.  
AIME: when i heard the words “mecha lucina” i thought she would just be lucina as a robot, but actually her body is a dyson sphere that oversees all creation and decay.  
JADE: yeah i thought that too, it happens.  
JADE: it was rather surprising.  
JADE: anyway i’m playing the newest release, completelyRegular!edelgard  
JADE: kinda weird they released animalCrossing!edelgard before the regular one  
JADE: *shrug*  
JUNE: i’m playing dark pit like always.  
AIME: what!  
AIME: nonono.  
AIME: you can’t play dark pit.  
AIME: i’m the evil doppelganger, he was made for me.  
JUNE: but i always play dark pit!.  
JADE: hm yeah, june always played dark pit  
JADE: like she doesnt even think she just picks him  
JADE: she just picks him and don’t even consider that there are other characters in this game  
JUNE: i just like him ok?  
JUNE: he has all the qualities of regular pit, but also he’s edgy and i like that in a man  
AIME: yeah but i’m the doppelganger here so i’m playing him  
AIME: and don’t come at me with “two players can play the same character in smash”  
AIME: play something else  
JADE: she kinda has a point  
JADE: and i kinda agree!  
JADE: you should try something else  
JUNE: …

you’re looking forward, which happens to be where the tv is, but you’re not looking at it or the game.

we wait in silence.

until you speak.

JUNE: you know  
JUNE: you ever think about how we used to be princesses?  
JADE: oh yeah, that was so long ago  
AIME: …  
AIME: yeah we used to.  
AIME: i know what you’re talking about.  
AIME: i’m you.  
AIME: but you should talk about it.  
JUNE: back in prospit.  
JUNE: our prospit.  
JUNE: ours and jade’s.  
JUNE: jade actually met it, she knows more about it.  
JUNE: but.  
JUNE: we were technically princesses of prospit.  
JUNE: if we manipulate the gender to our advantage.  
JUNE: do you ever day dreamed of being a princess?  
JUNE: that you were switched in birth and that one day your true parents would come and fix everything that was wrong?  
JUNE: that you were a lost princess of a gorgeous kingdom?  
JUNE: that all your problems would be fixed.  
JUNE: that your discomfort towards reality would be explained.  
JUNE: that everything would make sense.  
AIME: …  
JADE: …  
JADE: june, i didn’t know…  
JADE: hm  
JADE: yeah :c  
AIME: you know i did.  
JUNE: yeah  
JUNE: the thing is we *were* princesses of a gorgeous shining kingdom.  
JUNE: but we woke up too late.  
JUNE: and our gorgeous sun bathed kingdom was already down to ruins.  
JUNE: all our dreams were true, we longed for something that was right there waiting for us.  
JUNE: but we were too late...  
JUNE: …  
AIME: i know.  
AIME: i’m *part of you*.  
AIME: i always think about that too.  
AIME: “what if i’m too late”.  
AIME: “what if i will never be a true…  
AIME: princess”.  
AIME: i know how that feels.  
AIME: but it’s never too late.  
AIME: jerks and your insecurity will tell you you might be too late.  
AIME: but else what would you do?.  
AIME: sit down and die because you’re late to being a-  
AIME: princess?.  
AIME: we’re like twenty something and immortal, but because we’re a decade too late we should just spend the rest of the everything not doing it.  
AIME: some things you just can’t change.  
AIME: so you focus on the ones you can.  
AIME: some problems you can fix.  
AIME: but others you leave to chance.  
JADE: that’s a good philosophy  
JADE: very practical  
JADE: but do you never overthink about the things you can’t change?  
AIME: i do.  
AIME: i try not to.  
AIME: but i still do.  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: …  
JUNE: i think.  
JUNE: i think i decided who i wanna play.  
JUNE: i’m playing peach.  
AIME: oh?  
JUNE: i’ve been meaning to play her for awhile.  
JUNE: me and the other betas used to play smash all the time when it came out.  
JUNE: and i always looked at her.  
JUNE: i watched a bunch of videos and i thought the way she played was really cool.  
JUNE: but never actually picked her.  
AIME: why?  
JADE: hm yeah  
JADE: why?  
JUNE: idk  
JUNE: i was scared of dave going on a tangent about how woke i was for playing the girl? JUNE: or listening about rose talk about how peach is not competitive viable and how low tier she was.  
JUNE: or hm, sorry jade, but having to explain to jade who peach even was.  
JADE: i know who peach is -_-  
JADE: that’s such a dumb assumption  
JUNE: yeah you could say my insecurity is very dumb  
JADE: yeah  
JADE: im giving you a break here cause i know you’re working on a metaphor  
JUNE: thanks.  
JUNE: i-  
JUNE: i wanted  
JUNE: i wanted to play peach and not have to answer anything  
JUNE: play peach and not have to hear comments on how woke or inviable it was  
JUNE: or explaining what it was in the first place  
AIME: well  
AIME: did you ever played her?  
JUNE: no  
AIME: then  
AIME: you just never did it?  
AIME: you never tried from fear of failing?  
JUNE: i guess…

JUNE: eventually i-  
JUNE: played peach alone.  
JUNE: for the sake of this metaphor.  
AIME: yeah.  
AIME: but you didn’t know.  
AIME: you never know how they would react.  
AIME: maybe dave wouldn’t comment on anything.  
AIME: maybe rose would give you tips on how to play her.  
AIME: and we know jade knows her and would tell how much she loves her.  
AIME: you didn’t know.  
JADE: and you were straight up wrong!  
JADE: but i can’t blame you for being paranoid.  
JADE: and scared of coming out.  
JADE: it’s ok to be scared.  
JADE: but you know your friends!  
JADE: and you know how we would always support you on- JADE: playing peach.  
JADE: you know we already support you!  
JADE: sometimes you just have to do better.  
JADE: take down the anxiety and insecurity and like our dear friend kanaya said  
JADE: Fuck It  
JADE: refuse to listen to anxiety  
JADE: show you are stronger than yourself  
JADE: endure all of it and move on  
AIME: hm  
JUNE: not sure if you’re supposed to do that though jade!  
JUNE: that doesn’t sound healthy.  
JUNE: are you ok?  
JADE: what?  
JADE: why wouldn’t i be ok :?  
JADE: im totally fine!  
JADE: ive been doing that all my life  
JADE: ive become a master at bottling up my emotions at this point :P  
JUNE: do you,  
JUNE: wanna talk about it?  
JADE: nope!  
AIME: i really think you should actually  
JADE: aime i’m fine!  
JADE: and don’t think about using the narrative!  
JADE: can’t we just acknowledge i have problems, but leave that to the next chapter?  
JADE: isn’t that what foreshadowing is for?  
AIME: hm ok, sure.  
AIME: let’s go back to playing the video game.  
JUNE: haha yeah  
JUNE: though i’m still worried about you jade!  
JADE: i’m glad you are!  
JADE: but please  
JADE: im not ready to talk about it  
JADE: give me some time  
JUNE: ok.  
AIME: we will.  
JUNE: and.  
JUNE: thanks you two. :)

sometimes change takes time, sometimes you don’t get a mischievous doppelganger that speedruns your recovery. and by sometimes i mean all literally all times that actually matters.

you smile. as you press down the accept button on your controller while her cursor hangs in front of your character the announcer says:

PEACH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you phoebe for helping me with the editing!


	4. Interm8ssion 2

Welcome to arachnidsGrip reviews.

This isn’t your regular review.

I am feeling unwell and I might never post this, you can you tell cause i haven't even shaven my face yet.

8ut I need to talk a8out two thousand seventeen instant classic Nier: Automata.

More specifically the ending E.

For the unread in the audience this is the last ending of the game’s five different ones, so please 8eware of spoilers as they will 8e unleashed ahead. 

In this ending the game divorces itself from its own narrative just a little and puts you in the position of a little space ship shooting the names and titles of the makers of this game.

I promise it’s more exciting than it sounds, I’m not in a gr8 position to express myself, please apologize me.

8ut eventually it gets too hard and you die.

The la8els take more hits to 8e defe8d and their harassments towards your little polygonal ship get stronger and heavier.

You simply die.

You lose and retry.

You lose again and you retry again.

Until the game asks if you want help.

It’s such a touching moment. the game shows you all the names of the other players that struggled with this moment and it offers you help as a chorus sings in the 8ackground a multilingual song.

If course you agree and with the help of others you acquire the strength to fight your way to the end of the credits.

It’s gorgeous.

It’s marvelous and 8eautiful.

Or at least that’s what I saw in videos of others playing the game.

Me.

For the sake of this metaphor let’s say I never got any help.

No one ever asked me if I wanted help.

No one ever helped me, everyone just pushed me aside.

Everyone deemed me as unworthy of love or help, t-

The video game decided I simply didn’t needed the help for such challenge.

Did I gave up?

A8solutely not.

I just got 8etter.

I got 8etter and 8eat the last ending, all 8y myself.

I tried over and over and over again.

I learned the microscopic patterns of every adversary, perfect dodging, perfect movement, perfect aim.

And I 8eat it.

Well I might not have 8een perfect, specially not emotionally.

8ut my execution was near flawless.

I refused to 8elieve I couldn’t do it 8ecause I had no help.

I just got 8etter and 8eat it.

8ut may8e I lost a part of me in the process of getting stronger.

I…

I guess I had some help.

8ut she left me.

And I did it.

I 8eat the impossi8le challenge 8y myself.

Do I feel proud of it? yeah, o8viously.

8ut it’s still lonely.

It feels lonely and misera8le.

I don’t want to 8e strong.

I’m so tired of 8eing strong.

I want to cry and I want to peel of all this strength from myself.

I want to 8e metaphorically naked to someone and 8e accepted in my struggles.

“It’s ok you don’t have to strong anymore.”

“It’s ok I will take care of you.”

“You can just let go.”

…

I don’t feel like I can let go.

I don’t want to 8e alone and have to do everything 8y myself.

I want help and I want someone to 8e there for me.

I’m tired of 8eing tough and strong and never 8eing allowed to show weakness.

I want help.

I want help so fucking 8ad.

I want other little ships helping me to 8eat the credits and i don’t want to 8e alone.

I want to hear the chorus of everyone that i care a8out loving me and forgiving me.

I don’t want to grind and keep a hundred different str8gies on my mind to 8eat this section alone.

I want to 8e vulnera8le.

To say “please help me.”

And hear “i will help you.” In return.

Yo throw away this heavy armor full of spikes that keeps me safe.

8ut that also keeps me from ever connecting with anyone.

I don’t want to 8e alone.

This doesn’t make me happy.

I-

VR1SK4?

Oh, hey Pyrope, it’s fine.

1 D1DNT 4SK3D 4NYTH1NG

I-

I guess you didn’t.

I just don’t want you to worry a8out me.

1 WORRY 4BOUT YOU

4ND

NO M4TT3R WH4T YOU T3LL M3

1 WONT 3V3R STOP C4R1NG 4BOUT YOU YOU 1D1OT

Heh

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

…

Hey, Terezi?

Y34H?

Will you help me?

Y3S

1 W1LL H3LP YOU VR1SK4

1TS OK YOU DONT H4V3 TO B3 STRONG 4NYMOR3

1TS OK 1 W1LL T4K3 C4R3 OF YOU

YOU C4N L3T GO NOW

1 W1LL K33P YOU S4F3


	5. Microwaved Feelings - New Apple Remix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June and Aime visit Vriska and Terezi.

JUNE: why are we visiting vriska and terezi.  
AIME: i already told you this before why do you keep asking!  
JUNE: i just don’t think it’s necessary.  
JUNE: we shouldn’t bother them.  
AIME: ughhh why do you gotta be like that.  
AIME: we are visiting vriska *because* according to *you* you have already learned all your lessons so i should have fused back with you already.  
AIME: at least that’s how i imagine the rules go.  
AIME: *but* i didn’t!  
AIME: i have no idea why our selves are still separated and since i’m gonna be here for what i assume is gonna be a while i should introduce myself to all your friends already.  
AIME: i mean.  
AIME: i know them already.  
AIME: i know them from back when i was still *part of you*.  
JUNE: yes, but they don’t know you so please don’t make a scene and please don’t be all dramatic i just need to update everyone on the you situation.  
JUNE: i *would* just text them, but you said it’s important or whatever that i actually say it in person  
JUNE: …  
JUNE: truth be told i’m rather anxious.  
AIME: why?  
JUNE: i’m not sure.  
JUNE: it’s complicated.  
JUNE: a lot of feelings.  
JUNE: stupid estrogen makes me feel just too much.  
AIME: yeah and-

VRISKA:  
VRISKA: Why are there two of you?  
JUNE: it’s-  
AIME: you know it’s a-  
JUNE: it’s a long story.  
AIME: yeah, it's a long story.  
JUNE: yeah.  
VRISKA:  
VRISKA: Ok.  
VRISKA: Please come in, Terezi is on the living room.  
VRISKA: It took so long for me to open it cause we were being lazy and discussing who should open it.  
JUNE: did you lose?  
VRISKA: Hm, noooooooo.  
VRISKA: I merely conceded.  
AIME: oh sure.  
VRISKA: Don’t get snarky on me June the sequel.  
AIME: it’s aime.  
AIME: aime gdaala.  
VRISKA: I will give you that is a really badass name!  
VRISKA: What’s your story.  
AIME: june had too many repressed feelings.  
AIME: so i was born as some sort of failsafe.  
VRISKA: Oh of that she definitely has a lot.  
VRISKA: Glad you could help her out.  
VRISKA: Hey Terezi!  
VRISKA: June and her evil clone are here, dear!  
TEREZI: …  
TEREZI: WH4T

terezi and vriska’s house is… messy.

there are bookcases everywhere filled with large hardcover history books, tabletop rpg books (some just straight up made of paper the two printed themselves) and comic books (most with girls with swords on the covers.) where there isn’t enough shelf space the sea of books spills into the margins of the room.

some of the furniture is very over the top and some is homemade with little to no effort. an elaborate grandfather clock made of black wood with ancient metal hands, a gargoyle on top and elaborate engravings is juxtaposed next to a stand the two made themselves with the first wood and nails they found cause they were running out of space.

in the living room you see the series of consoles, games and controllers the two own. it’s an impressive collection of earthly, alternian and even some carapacian and corsortian titles that rivals roxy’s. the cables form something you could only describe as a rat king of entangled tails that gives life to something bigger than the sum of its parts.

AIME: ok so i’m not a quote evil clone unquote.  
AIME: i might be a bit mischievous, but i’m well intended.  
AIME: sometimes you gotta crack a few eggs to bake a cake.  
AIME: and by eggs i mean emotional breakdowns started over facing repressed feelings.  
AIME: and by cake i mean a happy june.  
JUNE: i was happy before though.  
AIME: no you used to pretend you were happy, you were miserable.  
AIME: and i helped you!  
AIME: so you’re welcome.  
JUNE: *eye roll*  
TEREZI: HM  
TEREZI: 1M NOT GONN4 L13  
TEREZI: TH1S 1S 4 LOT TO S1NK 1N  
TEREZI: D1D 4LL TH4T H4PP3N 1N TH3 SP4N OF 4 F3W D4YS?  
TEREZI: 4LSO YOU S41D SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT VR1SK4S V1D3OS  
TEREZI: WH4T  
JUNE: yeah it’s hm.  
JUNE: it’s been some very busy few days.  
JUNE: we’ve been through a lot.  
TEREZI: 1TS F1N3 4ND 4LL  
TEREZI: 1M GL4D YOUV3 B33N D34L1NG W1TH YOUR PROBL3MS  
TEREZI: 1 SOM3WH4T W1SH YOU WOULD M3SS4G3 US MOR3 4ND NOT D1S4PP34R FOR W33KS 4ND SHOW UP W1TH 4NOTH3R S3LF  
JUNE: she won’t be here for long!  
JUNE: everyone thinks we would have merged as soon as i face all my feelings about the everything.  
JUNE: which already happened mind you.  
JUNE: so we don’t know why we haven’t recombined already!  
JUNE: i already dealt with all my repressed feelings, it makes no sense.  
AIME: shaking my head you’re really eager to have me gone aren’t you.  
JUNE: it’s not!  
JUNE: it’s not that.  
JUNE: it’s just weird to have you around.  
AIME: it’s weird?  
JUNE: it’s-  
JUNE: unpleasant.  
JUNE: it’s not that i want you gone, it’s just that i don’t wanna bother anyone.  
JUNE: asking for help of vriska and terezi already makes me feel like i’m bothering them too much.  
JUNE: i’m sorry we should be going.  
AIME: oh no we aren’t going anywhere.  
AIME: sit your ass there and enjoy your food.  
TEREZI: Y34H JUN3 W3 H4D 4 LOT OF 3FFORT TO H34T TH1S D1NN3R ON TH3 M1CROW4V3 FOR YOU  
TEREZI: YOU B3TT3R 3NJOY 1T 3LS3 1 W1LL H1T YOUR H34D W1TH 4 COM1C4LLY S1Z3D H4MM3R TH4T W1LL PRODUC3 4 SQU34KY NO1S3 4S 1T M4K3S CONT4CT  
VRISKA: Yeeeeeeeeah June, you don’t really sound like you’ve dealt with all your repressed feeling tee 8ee 8ch.  
VRISKA: You should hm.  
VRISKA: Talk a8out your feelings and shit!  
JUNE: i already talked about my feelings!  
JUNE: i don’t understand how much more i have to talk about them.  
JUNE: how many feelings is a person even supposed to have!  
JUNE: it doesn’t sound right that i would have so many feelings.  
JUNE: i already said i’m fine.  
VRISKA: Aaaaaaaare you now?  
VRISKA: It sounds like you’re just avoiding it even more?  
VRISKA: I realized how after coming out you would often act like everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t.  
VRISKA: Acting like you don’t care a8out anything related to 8eing trans, while you were pretty much just living like someone with depression.  
TEREZI: JUN3 YOUR3 NOT H4RD TO R34D PL34S3  
JUNE: it’s not the same!  
JUNE: i admit i was doing that before.  
JUNE: but now it’s different!  
JUNE: i’m fine now.  
JUNE: i’m normal.  
VRISKA: Saying you are normal doesn’t make me feel positive a8out your recovery!  
VRISKA: You’re awfully quick to act like you don’t have any more pro8lems!  
JUNE: it’s not that!  
JUNE: i’m ok now! kanaya, jade and aime helped.  
JUNE: i played peach on smash.  
VRISKA: That doesn’t mean anything to me!  
TEREZI: WH4T 1S P34CH WHO 1S SM4SH  
JUNE: it just means i’m fine!  
VRISKA: No, i don’t think you’re fine, i think you’re-  
AIME: june never got over the crushes she had on both of you and that’s why she is nervous.

VRISKA: ::::0  
TEREZI: >:O  
JUNE: …  
JUNE: that is not true.  
JUNE: why are you saying that.  
AIME: because it is true!  
AIME: how many times do i have to tell you!  
AIME: i am *part of you*  
JUNE: i’m getting tired of your bullshit actually.  
JUNE: stop repeating that over and over what does that even mean!  
JUNE: i’m sorry you two she’s just silly and likes to tell weird jokes and-  
VRISKA: June.  
VRISKA: I think you’re cool too.  
JUNE: i’m sorry WHAT.  
TEREZI: JUN3 YOUR3 HOT 4ND FUNNY 1 WOULD L1K3 TO M4K3 OUT W1TH  
JUNE: TEREZI.  
VRISKA: Hahaha gosh dear, right to the point.  
VRISKA: 8ut Terezi is right June, you’re rather hot  
JUNE: you’re joking.  
JUNE: you’re joking with me and doing-  
JUNE: doing something-  
VRISKA: We’re not!  
VRISKA: Terezi was a 8it too straight forward, 8ut with all honesty you’re really hot June!  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 TH1NK YOUR JOK3S H4V3 B3COM3 MUCH FUNN13R 4FT3R TR4NS1T1ON1NG  
TEREZI: 1 D1DNT KN3W 3STROG3N M4D3 ON3S JOK3S B3TT3R  
JUNE: no no, my jokes are mediocre at best.  
JUNE: i’m not sure why are you saying that  
JUNE: i’m not hot either.  
JUNE: i’m not-  
JUNE: i’m not good enough for you, you shouldn’t waste your time  
VRISKA: Hm.  
VRISKA: What?  
TEREZI: JUN3 W1TH 4LL 4POLOG13S TO YOU 1 DONT TH1NK YOUR3 TH3 ON3 TH4T G3TS TO CHOOS3 TH4T  
JUNE: ok, but i don’t wanna ruin the things you have going on in there!  
JUNE: i would only make it worse!  
JUNE: you two care about each other so much, i don’t wanna be a-  
JUNE: aaaaaa i dont know!  
JUNE: some metaphor!  
JUNE: some metaphor for something incredibly unnecessary ruining something very good.  
VRISKA: Shhh.

vriska stands up and gets closer to you, putting her finger on your mouth.

i will be assuming the role of narrator for now on, i feel like my job here is done and my interactions will be reserved to explaining that which is left unsaid

VRISKA: You don’t have to stand 8etween us June, silly.  
VRISKA: You’re right we are so deeply important to each other.  
VRISKA: 8ut it’s not like you have to marry us or anything you doofus.  
VRISKA: We can make out and have a casual thing going on.  
VRISKA: Do you actually understand how relationships go?  
TEREZI: WH4T SH3 S41D  
TEREZI: 1 C4NT B3L13V3 YOUR3 ST1LL 1N TH3 GRUB 4G3 OF “K1SS H3R? BUT 1 DONT W4NN4 M4RRY H3R!”  
TEREZI: YOUR3 SO FLUST3R3D 4BOUT 4LL TH1S 4ND TH1S 1S SO 1NCR3D1BLY CUT3  
VRISKA: Yeah.

vriska kisses you.

it’s nice and her lipstick tastes not blueberry, but like a messy liquid crayon.

it makes you feel good in it’s own special way.

her fangs press into your lips, but not the sharp part. almost like she has an expertise on kissing and not hurting.

you-

you stand there.

paralyzed.

JUNE:  
JUNE: haha i’m sorry  
JUNE: i didn’t meant to trick you into thinking i’m an interesting person  
JUNE: hehe juvenile mistake  
JUNE: vriska you dummy you shouldn’t be kissing others outside your marriage!  
VRISKA: 8ut we’re poly…  
VRISKA: You know that June.  
VRISKA: Right?  
JUNE: ok ok.  
JUNE: everyone keep saying they’re poly.  
JUNE: but don’t you think you can be poly with someone better?  
JUNE: like.  
JUNE: look at you!  
JUNE: vriska and terezi serket pyrope!  
JUNE: you two are just so amazing and cool and pretty and ho-  
JUNE: amazing and cool and pretty!  
VRISKA: What did you censor yourself there?  
VRISKA: I wanna hear it actually.  
JUNE: it was nothing.  
TEREZI: T3LL US OR 1 W1LL 34T YOUR 3Y3B4LLS  
JUNE: it’s nothing i promise.  
TEREZI: OH YOUR 3Y3B4LLS 4R3 GONN4 B3 SO T4STY  
JUNE: I WAS GONNA SAY THAT YOURE HOT TOO OK.  
JUNE: BUT.  
JUNE: but.  
JUNE: i feel ashamed in saying that.  
JUNE: i don’t feel like i’m allowed to like anyone like that.  
JUNE: it feels wrong.  
JUNE: it feels like someone is gonna crash inside your house and take away my womanhood card.  
JUNE: it feels like i’m gonna be forever branded as a pervert violent male who has unladylike desires and drives.  
JUNE: it feels like you two are gonna hate for me liking you.  
JUNE: please don’t hate please please i just heard you saying it and i thought for a second that it was-  
TEREZI: JUN3 1TS F1N3  
TEREZI: TH4NKS  
TEREZI: 1 L1K3 B31NG C4LL3D HOT  
VRISKA: Haha same.  
VRISKA: Same.  
VRISKA: We’re just three incredi8ly hot ladies hanging out.  
JUNE: yeah, but i’m not as hot as you.  
JUNE: i can see how someone with poor taste would take a liking on me, but not you two  
TEREZI: OH SHUT TH3 FUCK UP

terezi stands up slamming her hands on the table and proceeds to move towards you.

she grabs you by the collar of your sweater and presses her lips into yours.

i assume her thought process was that if she has your mouth busy you can’t talk all the bullshit that you use to do.

smart.

i would try it, but i’m not very sure about the morality of smooching your clone.

VRISKA: Dear you’re really going on in it!  
TEREZI: HNK,JMNKJNKJ  
TEREZI: D4DS4DSF4SD4SD  
TEREZI: VCMVKJBKJVNDJKJV  
VRISKA: Are-  
VRISKA: Are you ok?

i’m gonna use my narrative privileges here and say she plans on kissing june until she has no choice, but to face this.

and that she is ok.

terezi pyrope presses her tongue inside your mouth and explores every bit of it.

you try to push her away at first, but you’re too scared to hurt her with you male strength or whatever your insecurities tell you so you don’t.

you return the kiss eventually.

her mouth tastes like the chicken you were you were all just eating.

it’s really gross actually.

you almost cut your tongue on her sharp teeth.

you like it.

she holds you and she is soft, but her hands grip you so sharply as your glasses hit each other over and over.

it’s messy.

it hm.

it goes on from a while!

she is really dedicated towards this.

its awkward.

JUNE: huff huff huff.  
TEREZI: HUFF HUFF HUFF

you are both breathless.

JUNE: hm i.  
JUNE: thanks terezi.  
JUNE: ok i.  
JUNE: please just give me a minute.  
JUNE: *huff* *huff* *huff*  
JUNE: i just.  
JUNE: i don’t see how you can like me.  
JUNE: i don’t feel like i deserve to be liked.  
JUNE: i don’t feel like i deserve your love.  
JUNE: i’m inadequate.  
JUNE: my body is all wrong and that will be an inconvenience for you.  
JUNE: vriska might be trans too, but she transitioned much earlier.  
JUNE: she must be disgusted by all the wrong things about my body.  
JUNE: i can’t even start talking about terezi.  
JUNE: she might be an alien, but she is a cis alien.  
JUNE: well not cis i’m-  
JUNE: i’m sorry i fucked up.  
JUNE: but you don’t have dysphoria like-  
JUNE: like we do.  
JUNE: i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry.  
TEREZI: 1 DONT C4R3  
TEREZI: STOP 4POLOG1Z1NG 4LR34DY  
JUNE: you have the right body.  
JUNE: you must hate the sight of everything wrong in my body so much.  
JUNE: you must hate me.  
JUNE: you kissed me out of pity.  
JUNE: i’m sure you can’t wait for me to leave.  
JUNE: you all talk behind my back about how much of an inconvenience i am i’m sure of it.  
JUNE: how could someone like me, i’m such a fuck up.  
JUNE: i mess everything up and i make everything worse for everyone  
JUNE: it would be better if i just disappeared.

…

TEREZI: TH4TS BULLSH1T  
TEREZI: JUN3 1M SORRY 1 D1DNT KN3W YOU W3R3 SO D33P 1N R3PR3SS3D STUFF  
TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 C4N T3LL YOU 1 L1K3 YOU B3C4US3 1M SUR3 YOU W1LL CONV1NC3 YOURS3LF TH4T 1M LY1NG 1NST34D  
TEREZI: YOU W1LL F1ND 4 ROUND4BOUT W4Y TO CONV1NC3 YOURS3LF 1 SOM3HOW K1SS3D YOU OUT OF PL4TON1C H4T3  
TEREZI: JUN3  
TEREZI: 1 W1LL T3LL YOU TH1S  
TEREZI: YOU 4R3 TH3 DUMB3ST P3RSON 1 KNOW  
TEREZI: 4ND TH4T 1S R34LLY CH4RM1NG OF YOU  
JUNE: i think its pathetic actually.  
JUNE: i wish i was confident like you are.  
JUNE: i’m so pathetic i wish i was normal and that i could be confident and not have to bother you all like this.  
VRISKA: We can only 8e ourselves June.  
VRISKA: We have our own flaws we wish were gone too.  
VRISKA: Flaws I’m sure you find lovely in us too.  
VRISKA: We all go through that June.  
VRISKA: I have insecurities too, 8ut I just try my very 8est to not listen to them.  
VRISKA: 8ecause if I listen to the voice in my head that scream all that how much of a monster I am would just 8e dead.  
VRISKA: It’s not easy.  
VRISKA: It hurts.  
VRISKA: I wish it was gone too.  
VRISKA: 8ut it's just part of what it means to 8e a person.  
VRISKA: We all have insecurities.  
VRISKA: 8ut we have each other.  
VRISKA: And that’s why I’m here, to give you support.  
VRISKA: 8ecause you’re also gonna give me support when I need it.  
VRISKA: Cause we’re friends.  
VRISKA: Or a 8it more than just friends.  
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: JUN3 YOUR3 NOT 4 BURD3N FOR JUST FOR 4SK1NG FOR H3LP  
TEREZI: 1N 4 OBJ3CT1V3 ST4NDPO1NT NO ON3 C4N B3 STRONG 4LL TH3 T1M3  
TEREZI: YOU H4V3 TO 4SK FOR H3LP SOM3T1M3S 3LS3 YOU W1LL B3 UTT3RLY M1S3R4BL3  
TEREZI: 1TS ONLY COMMON S3NS3 TH4T ON3 SHOULD 4SK FOR H3LP SOM3T1M3S  
VRISKA: And all that trans stuff you were talking a8out……..  
VRISKA: I know how hard it is.  
VRISKA: I felt like you do.  
VRISKA: It feels terri8le. It feels like everything in your 8ody is wrong and you hate yourself so you assume everyone hates you too  
VRISKA: 8ut they don’t.  
VRISKA: You shouldn’t project your self hatred unto others.  
VRISKA: They love you and they only want the 8est for you.  
VRISKA: No one hates you 8ecause your 8ody is wrong, that is not your fault.  
VRISKA: You never got to choose how your 8ody looked like and it’s not your fault it feels wrong to live in it.  
VRISKA: And a8ove everything you shouldn't hate yourself for 8eing in pain.  
VRISKA: I love you and I want you to 8e happy, ok?  
JUNE: …  
JUNE: thanks.  
JUNE: i think i. *sob*  
JUNE: *sob* i think i just wanna cry a bit. *sob*  
JUNE: i just. *sob*  
JUNE: fuck.  
JUNE: *sob* *sob *sob*  
JUNE: thank you so much.  
JUNE: *sob* i don’t want to be in pain anymore.  
JUNE: i want to be happy. *sob* *sob*  
JUNE: can i just.  
JUNE: *sob* can you just two just hold me for a bit.  
TEREZI: Y34H  
VRISKA: Yes.

the two hold you as hot tears run down your cheeks and into terezi’s shirt and vriska’s arm.

terezi has such a soft body you can’t help, but to envy her.

you also envy vriska. her body is even more lanky than yours is, but hers is just… better? you wish you were her too.

you feel a bit bad for being so jealous.

you shouldn’t

jealousy is very normal emotion and you shouldn’t feel bad for feeling it.

you fear you are bothering the two.

“gog what a fuck up i must be” you think to yourself.

“here i am bothering these two so much” echoes in your mind.

you aren’t.

i hope you can learn that some day.

goodnight june.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aime owns [this shirt](https://www.fangamer.com/collections/celeste/products/celeste-badeline-shirt).
> 
> Thank you so much to my girlfriend for helping me with editing and the name title.
> 
> Thank you so much Clara for all your support on my pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> all my social medias are @worstGirlEva


End file.
